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Thursday, 27 November 2014

thankful thursday




this week i am thankful for patience, it's a discipline i have grown in over the years, my impatient, angry teenage self is still amazed by that. i am thankful for hope, i'm a glass half full kind of a gal and even in the midst of seeming disaster i can still see the silver lining or the vivid colour spectrum rainbow. i am thankful for love, love of myself and of others, the kind that stands back and encourages us to become our own greatest cheerleaders.

Emma

Tuesday, 25 November 2014

i found the source




this past weekend i cleared out at my house. one job i had started but only half finished, one job kind of just grew from sorting out the first one and another job, well i don't even think i would call it that, another project i realised was long overdue and was itching to get to once i saw it.

the funny thing about all of these jobs/projects was even though one thing lead to another and then another taking up more time and energy i really enjoyed them. i am a recovering to-do list girl - if you see me writing everything down it's a sure sign that either i am lost in the memory lapse world i so frequently inhabit or i'm trying desperately to gain contentment from performing tasks that give me satisfaction. this weekend was neither of those things, i just started clearing out the bottom half of the cupboard i had left to finish from when i had cleared out the top half a few weeks ago. once i had pulled out dvds and games my nieces and nephews play with when they visit i found a damp black mould and mildue deposit lurking behind it all. i wasn't surprised, i had smelt an odour previously and was relieved to find the source. once cleared, cleaned and dried i left doors ajar to air. to check this was the only source i started checking around the area and found a second larger deposit in the next room behind recycling receptacles and other items kept in storage for a never never day. it was liberating to clean and clear and throw things away. i sought advice about the best way to clean, clear and treat this fungus and was relived when i realised that it wasn't damp as i had suspected but lack of air flow that had caused the mouldy build up. i really wish i had reached for my camera to photograph it but really who does that in this instagram age? we are all guilty of taking photos of the picture perfect and believe me black, wet, smelly stains on your walls are not the definition of that, not even close. i only regret not having a before and after shot. i washed down, scrubbed and then sprayed the mould removal product and left it to do it's magic. to say i was sceptical is an understatement but perform it did and not only do i have stain free walls i am now almost smell free too.

the next wall i checked thankfully was dry with no deposits, nothing had been stored trapping air flow. but as i looked i realised the room itself was stale, i had done a furniture swap with a friend and the item i had been given had been placed, without thought in a convenient corner and left there - that was two years ago. i took time this weekend and washed away dust, cleaned and dusted items that hadn't been used recently and rearranged the room and the items within it. most items stayed in the room but some got swaped out and others came in (shopping the house as the nester encourages). i am happy with how it turned out but above all i got a glimpse of how i will use this room in the future. although i am happy with how it has landed right now i can see what my next moves for it could be and that makes me happy - living happily in the present and dreaming of the future. 

relaxing after i'd cleared and cleaned i got to thinking how items packed together without air circulation can become damaged or are damaging just by being there, how they become stale without use or purpose. surely the same can be true of ourselves not just our homes?  shouldn't we keep embracing and living not just the parts we live daily but the parts we hide away from? review the parts we hold onto just in case or the parts we brush under to carpet to deal with another day? i fear the internal black stains might be harder to clean or gloss over if we don't.

Emma

Thursday, 20 November 2014

thankful thursday




this week i am thankful for beautiful skies, vibrant rainbows, silhouetted and reflected birds both large and small. i am thankful each time i have observed these i have been in the throws of doing something else, with no free hands to photograph, i have just stood or sat and taken in the majesty. i am thankful for the mystery of life even if it feels like the twists and turns are unexpected, i am grateful they all weave into a bigger picture. 

(archive photos; richmond park, london december 2013)

Emma

Monday, 17 November 2014

now she is eight








do clothes make the man or does the man make the clothes? suddenly an age size up in clothes make her look so big. she has her own style and is not afraid to use it.

Emma

Friday, 14 November 2014

blessings


have you thought about your blessings lately? perhaps you prefer to call them something else? also perhaps we only consider something a blessing if life is going well, not when we are in the thick of it. 

i wouldn't call this week a good one. in fact there have been places where it has been downright hard. but this week i've focused on the changes. if you have ever had a life changing experience you will know what i mean. these are the times you count your days before and the days after an event. before you were married and after, before you became a parent and after, before you got the promotion and after. i've lived a memory of that this past week; life when my dad was still in it and life after he wasn't. twelve years on i realise more and more that there is some kind of physical memory of the date, almost like if i forgot my body would remind me.  i sometimes wonder if that is because dad had a heart attack and died young and unexpected - it's the shock of the phone call i received telling of the news that i can recall with such clarity - it is the mind that recalls time standing still but perhaps my body remembers the shock of that initial contact.

in the face of that and other disappointments this week i have remembered my blessings. a roof above my head, bills paid, food in my fridge, petrol in my car - may i never underestimate the power of provision nor take for granted how blessed i am to live in a county with clean water from a tap and a free national health service. three aunties in hospital at the same time, all now healing and making progress. two years ago this weekend we attended a family reunion of my mum's side of the family, i am grateful for the memories made that weekend and time spent together. this weekend also marks the eighth birthday of one of my nieces; i have the honour of sharing my life with four nieces and two nephews the youngest of whom still calls me a variation of emma that sounds more like anna. as i try to teach him how to say emma my sister reminds me - one day he will open the door and call me my name properly and i will be disapointed that i'm no longer called anna. i know she is right.

embrace the imperfect, celebrate the off kilter don't be disappointed by things looking a little different to how you would like them - these are the things that refine us - celebrate at will.

Emma

Thursday, 13 November 2014

thankful thursday






this week i was thankful to get a head start, allbeit a small one, on all things christmas. but phone calls have come thick and fast this week telling of family members who are in hospital. i am thankful that each one is in the right place to receive the right treatment and grateful for the reminder to embrace everyone, everyday. cherish those you love and do not hesitate to tell them as often as possible how much they mean to you.

Emma

Thursday, 6 November 2014

thankful thursday




this week i am grateful for unseasonal warmer temperatures, low lying sunshine warming an office without heating and leaves holding onto trees maintaining their autumnal extravaganza. i am grateful to have completed the 31 day project and to have a breathing space before jane and i commence our annual christmas photo project again. i am thankful to be provided for at every turn, especially when i think negatively, why do we worry so much? i am grateful for the reminder that we are not the sum of our circumstances. perspective regained. and yes; that tree still lures me.

Emma