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Monday 30 June 2014

life in the middle


have you ever said something without thinking and heard it come back at you? 

last week while sitting chatting to my youngest nephew at bath time innocent words came out of my mouth and straight away they echoed back to me through a small child's voice accompanied by a laugh "silly billy". i say innocent because i hadn't thought about what i was saying but hearing a two year old giggle at being called silly for walking around and almost slipping in a bath full of water it suddenly dawned on me i was calling him silly and he was laughing. perhaps that sounds stupid or silly to you to think about these words but really - as an adult - does anyone call you silly? how would you react if they did? 

i've been struck these last couple of weeks by my own inner monologue. over the past month or so the work stress levels have risen and pressure has been applied in both my professional and personal lives but if i'm completely honest with you it's been applied mostly by myself. how much i want to achieve, where i expect myself to be, the comparisons with others - well they have been off the chart and not in a good way. perfectionism has got in and boy has it been tearing it up. 

a couple of years back when i was going through a really tough time jane said to me on what seemed like an almost daily basis at the time "please be kind to yourself". she would tell me by text, mail and phone and many times while i was in the trenches of life trying to dig my way out i would wonder why she would keep saying that to me. gradually i realised she was encouraging me to be nicer to myself than i was currently being, i was so far down in that stinky, muddy trench, i couldn't see it. thankfully i overcame that particular hard time but it has struck me over the last few weeks how much we have to be on guard against negative talk at all times and i'm not meaning others telling us we are no good, or that we are wrong or incapable of doing a job or meeting our goal or attaining our dream. 

my regular go to put down recently is to call myself an idiot and i might add, i use my full name when i do it, you know, exactly like your parents might have done when you were in trouble as a child. what, you may ask, causes me to speak to myself like this? well, you know it's the big things. spilling something in the kitchen or forgetting to take a document into a meeting - you know the meetings that are in your office and it's not a big deal to go and get the papers you've forgotten - yeah those kind of major things. and why you may ask are you writing about this, this seemingly small self talk that's not important to anyone else?

well, i've realised this small negative self talk leads to big negative self talk and big negative self talk leads to lack of belief in yourself and your abilities, and lack of belief in yourself causes fear, and fear causes you to shut down and finally you start believing what you innocently tell yourself when you spill milk that you pour into your tea almost every. single. morning. 

so, as life calms down i am reminding myself to be kind to myself, to treasure each day as the gift that it is, to ignore the little voice that so easily comes to the surface while stressed and to live in the middle, life is never as bad as you expect it to be and neither my friend are you. nor me come to that matter.

Emma

Sunday 29 June 2014

best part of the week



A quick dash to the coast, Saturday afternoon spent looking out to sea. The weather app forecast rain, we found blue sky.

Jane


a trip to see my step sister sing with her choir - an abba spectacular - we loved it.

Emma

Thursday 26 June 2014

thankful thursday


in a week where the sun shone hazy through the humidity, the rain poured clearing the air and watering my garden, i am thankful for the seasons. in a week where demands on my time are finally letting up and my to-do list is getting done, i am thankful to have space. in a week where the realisation that negative thoughts have crowded in without me realising, i am thankful for the ability to choose hope, optimism and positivity. i am grateful that a smile costs nothing, my glass really is half full and everything is (usually) better than i expect it to be.

Emma

Tuesday 24 June 2014

nine










at the weekend my eldest niece turned nine. as the auntie who lives round the corner i volunteered my services for the art of making afternoon tea (read kids tea party) and helping transform the garden into a party space (read adults loving bunting and paper decorations and not being afraid to use them). with friends who are cheerleaders in attendance the garden soon filled up with kids doing lifts and kicks and generally throwing themselves around in a way that left us wondering if we were ever that flexible (in a word, no). the sun shone, there was much playing and laughter, sweets for dessert and a big chocolate birthday cake. it was exactly what a nine year old had asked for and she loved it. 

Emma

Sunday 22 June 2014

best part of the week


company accounts turned in, eldest niece turned nine, bunting hung, sandwiches made; afternoon tea celebrations with her friends, cold wine in the sunshine making me drowsy after all the effort, family, happiness, blue nail polish, sunshine, bbq. phone catch ups with friends, sunday lunch out. all the while my strawberries took care of themselves.

Emma 



Saturday morning, sun beating down. Trainers out- my first run over six miles. Legs tired but the feeling of satisfaction of having persevered to get all the way round huge.


Jane

Thursday 19 June 2014

thankful thursday




this week i am thankful for the reminder i enjoy cooking, for the reminder i enjoy reading, for the reminder I enjoy time alone as well as with people. i am grateful to have time to dream and to imagine with abandon. even if it may look as if i am taking it easy, the cogs of the mind are ticking furiously, keeping up and keeping open to the envisioned opportunities; therein lies the challenge.

Emma

Wednesday 18 June 2014

askew


last week, whilst reading a while in the garden after work to wind down, i was distracted by the birds. there were many, enough to make me look up from the page to see what all the noise was about. my aerial may be askew but clearly the birds don't mind where they rest.

Emma

Tuesday 17 June 2014

girls weekend













a couple of weekends ago i joined my nieces, sister and sister in law for a girls weekend. the sun shone, the girls played, the grown ups caught up and much laughter was had by all. it was fab. my sister refers to me as her official photographer, i can't imagine why.

Emma

Sunday 15 June 2014

best part of the week


not just one day but lots of bits of time put together. rest. much needed. refreshing and reviving. sleep, reading, relaxation. ensuring strength to face the next week.

Emma


GCSE's finished. After months of revision, stress and deadlines laughter returns to home.


Jane

Thursday 12 June 2014

thankful thursday


when negative thoughts crowd in - all the things you're not, all the things you've not got. when life gets busy with no time to rest, when disappointment displaces joy and deadlines numb creativity - life can become a fight. i eat butter rich crumpets while watching squirrels chase each other mission impossible style over tree branches and fences, sunshine breaks through the patchy cloud, saturated ground now glistens in the dancing light, i notice trees swaying in time with the wind and listen to birdsong. i am grateful for a quiet morning to remind me to slow down, to take time, to notice the small things, to take that extra five minutes for myself - the world will still be there waiting whether i rush to it or not. savour life; appreciating the small things makes you richer than you ever imagined. 

Emma

Sunday 8 June 2014

best part of the week


Sunday afternoon. Lying on the grass watching the clouds go by. Sabbath rest found.

Jane


a girls weekend, sunshine, laughter, time spent together = perfect.

Emma

Thursday 5 June 2014

thankful thursday




thankful for the big and small, the everyday and the life changing, the sunshine and the rain. relax and enjoy this journey called life, it sure has a way of surprising you.

Emma

Monday 2 June 2014

sunny monday









last monday was a holiday day. the forecast was rain but not one drop fell as we walked around history, shedding scarfs and jackets as we went. childhood school trips were remembered whilst we wandered around our local industrial heritage. the old workers cottages are occupied today and what a desirable, beautiful location they are set within, something i am certain we didn't realise in our youth. we are fortunate enough to be within short driving distance of the country and the city, too often i forget and take it for granted. it was good to be reminded.

Emma

Sunday 1 June 2014

best part of the week


a successful shopping trip, sunshine and sharing a bottle of chilled white in a local wine merchants, a long overdue item on the to-do list.

Emma


A few days away from routine - playing cards by candlelight, laughter, fun, shared times. 

Jane