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Monday, 14 January 2013

asking for help

last week i found myself sitting down to this

cheese and biscuits alongside christmas chutney accompanied by a glass of wine. i'm sure that my house is not the only home in which christmas treats are still being got through be it cheese or a box of chocolates. the cheese and biscuits and the wine, they are all gone. the chutney? well, the chutneys still sat on the side in my kitchen.

see those marks on the label? the rip? that's where the ring i wear on my thumb took the label off. why? because i couldn't open it. i tried until my hands were bright red and sore. i tried until my nails dug into my skin. frustrated i cast it aside in favour of another chutney i had been given as a christmas present. i guess there is nothing unusual about that. but. that jar of chutney has been winking at me all week. every so often i would pick it up and try and unstick it. i used a cloth. i used a tea towel. i used all the force i could muster. exacerbated, i resorted to shouting "oh come on!". no, still no joy. i left it to one side sure all my effort would loosen it telling myself "i'll get it next time". nope. it didn't come off the next time either. 

i needed help.

the thing is, i'm not very good at asking for help. ask anyone close to me. i have been brought up by a strong woman. that strength is a good thing. i am an independent woman. it's just sometimes i am too independent. i think i can do everything alone. more than that, some days i think i have to do everything alone. never before has there been such a life lesson sat on my kitchen work top. i still have cheese to eat. i wanted to taste the chutney i bought to go with it. only i couldn't do it alone. the lid was stuck and so was i. if i wanted to eat it i needed to ask for help. finally i did. yesterday. it took me five days to ask. five days. i knew i was independent i just didn't realise how stubborn i was too. (it's a family trait, how on earth i thought i'd avoided this trait is beyond me.)

the cheese is out of the fridge, coming to room temperature. the wine is open and is breathing. tonight after a stressful work day i will sit down and taste the delights of asking for help. i'm quite sure it will taste the sweeter for it.  


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